the blended family for beginners

hey lady! welcome to stepmotherhood

hey lady! welcome to stepmotherhood

So.  Did I in my wildest dreams imagine that I would be a stepmother one day?  Ummm, no.  I did have moments where I imagined myself to be a glamorous world traveller, jetting off to exotic locations at a moments notice and you know, hanging out on my private yacht in the Mediterranean.  But here we are, because when I married the love of my life in the forest at Cradle Mountain back in January 2016 (yes we eloped and yes it was super romantic) I also welcomed into my life three gorgeous kids age 10, 7 and 3.  I obviously didn’t realise at the time the full extent of their gorgeousness because I hadn’t actually met them yet – they lived in Western Australia and at that point in time we lived in the remote wilderness of the Tassie west coast.  About a week after our wedding we came over to WA to visit them – poor little things, it was just so hard for them and they really did so great at the whole meeting me thing.  I mean – who on earth was this strange woman anyway, whose very existence is what made it impossible for the only thing in the world they wanted – their mum and dad to live in the same house again?   Their hearts were clearly broken and I got why, so I kind of just left them to their dad as much as possible that week.  I tried really hard being okay with my brand new husband sleeping on the floor of the kids room, and deep down of course really I was – they needed him close, and he needed so badly to be there for them – but it was a baptism of fire for this newly married lady, that’s for sure.

Then, once we were back in Tassie my only contact with the kids was when he would FaceTime them every couple of days, I would just kind of be hovering in the background – not really sure about what I was supposed to do or say and feeling their resentment of me coming through loud and clear.  A couple of months spent watching these little interactions and seeing just how devastated he was every time the kids didn’t feel like talking to him, or cried because they missed him so much made me see how important it was for us to just pick up sticks and get back to WA at the speed of light so that he didn’t miss out on any more time with them.  And so we did.  It took us a few months to get our ducks in a row, but it really was the best decision we ever made and we haven’t looked back even for a second.

Would I swap my life as a stepmother for the world-travelling, jet-setting, yacht-hanging life?  Heck no.  Let’s be frank though, it wasn’t all love and roses in the beginning when we first started sharing custody.  But, I’ll get to that.

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